Blimey :(

So I wake up this morning on the 6 month anniversary since the transplant operation and, as if to remind me not to get too comfortable, my new kidney is aching and tender. :( I've been feeling a bit poorly all week, so when I went in I made sure to let the Dr know what was going on - fortunately it was one of the good ones that I trust not to fob me off. He decided just to see what the blood tests say but have me come back next week instead of two weeks time, or earlier if I continue to feel crappy. I questioned my MMF levels and the useless doctor last time who'd fobbed me off and given me a prescription that none of the local chemists could fill. Today's nice dr checked the levels and seemed concerned they were too high and packed me off to the hospital pharmacy to get the new drugs, which I now have in my hot little hand. New side effects? "Excessive unexplained bruising and flu-like symptoms". Nice. Wonder how much damage I've done by taking too much mmf the last few weeks cos no-one bloody checked it?!

Twas a long clinic - I waited 45 mins after my actual appointment time to get seen, then another 25 mins to get my bloods done, then another 40 minutes to get the damn prescription. What a waste of time. I asked one of the HCAs what the hold-up was with the bloods to see if I could drop off the prescription and come back , but was told very curtly that I had to stay and shouldn't complain about the waiting and it can't have been that long. Gah.

And to top it all off, one of the guys who had his tx around the same time as me was in clinic. He's having some rejection issues and is a bit sad about it, which is fair enough. But today he was saying that if the tx does fail, he's not gonna go back on dialysis. "was it that bad?" I asked. He just nodded and said he'd rather just make the most of his time and then "go to sleep". I figured as he's a bit older I could sort of understand that, but still; hearing that some feel dialysis is that bad is a depressing thought. THEN the guy on the other side of my chimed in saying he felt the same and would "get himself a gun" if he needed to.

I had a bit of a minor freakout. I mean, there's a lot of energy goes into telling people you can live a pretty good life on dialysis and yet there are some who'd rather not try? Scary stuff. I had a sudden sense of how fragile the situation is despite how well things have gone so far, and although I've been 6 months and not had any real problems yet, I'm now cacking myself about the test results from today. I'm certainly hoping I don't have to give up going to Glasto. I'd be completely devastated.

:(